Hi, my name is Patti and I am a mother of four gorgeous children ages 7, 5, 3 and 1. We are originally from Australia, Perth. My husband and I have been married for 8 years and along our journey together we have lived in two countries and four cities. Whilst moving around, we also built a family together and although it has been a great experience moving around, it also comes with its challenges.

 

They always say that it takes a village to raise children and although I had a bit of help with my first two, being much closer to home, this all changed the moment we moved to America. It really hit me hard during my fourth pregnancy. I guess more because it was so unexpected. I was both nervous and excited but the reality of raising four children completely on our own made me realise just how much we needed our support system. My mind was going through a range of emotions during this pregnancy, it really took a toll on me both physically and mentally. On top of the hormones, I was also going through the winter blues. I also managed to get COVID twice, as well as gastro. We were also having complications with the baby. It was a lot to carry. I don't often like to show my vulnerability, mainly for the sake of my children. I always feel I need to be strong for them but from the moment I birthed my baby, throughout the early days of raising an infant, as well as juggling 3 other young children and life, I felt like I was slowly drowning. I was struggling to breastfeed my newborn and was being told to feed formula from the moment she was born and to breastfeed less, immediately I started to struggle. I felt like I was failing as a Mum.

 

The one thing my body should be able to do naturally, I was unable to do. I always envied mothers who were blessed to be overflowing with milk supply like it was no big deal. I resorted to taking a handful of supplements that promised increased milk supply, pumping 3 times a day and eating more than necessary and drinking like a fish to maintain hydration all in the hopes that somehow a miracle would happen and my breasts would suddenly become a milk drinking fountain. Through all my efforts to increase my supply, I was only able to pump 4oz (120ml) of breast milk a day! I continued to do this up until my youngest reached four months old. It almost became an addiction but my mind and body was exhausted. I realised at that point, enough was enough and eveything would be OK. She will survive on formula.

 

The pressures of motherhood can really put a toll on me and although I don't often show it and disguise it with a smile, I am crumbling on the inside.

 

Moving overseas, far away from family and friends has been extremely challening. As an expat wife and mother, making new friends has never been easy. It has definietly been more of a struggle during our time in the United States. Having moved over here at the start of the pandemic when there was a lot of uncertainty and everyone stayed home, keeping their distance, trying to stay healthy and then eventually vaccines were created, we all started to slowly emerge from our safety bubbles. With my boys in school, I thought it would be an opportunity for me to meet other mothers. There has always been this saying floating around "Minnesota nice". Yes, I can agree, people here are lovely, approachable and very welcoming. I have never had during our time here over the three and a half years, a negative experience. One thing I have noticed however, after trying to put myself out there and engage with other mothers, in the efforts to form my own little community was that even though people here are nice, they do tend to stick to themselves, very absorbed in their own lives... but who isn't right? Life can get busy. I've never felt more isolated or out of place, as though I don't belong. It is definitely not the best feeling, especially during pregnancy, through the struggles of motherhood and trying to balance it all.

 

My aim is to build a community for all mothers, including expat mothers. To create a space for mothers to engage or feel connected in some way, so that we don't feel alone.

 

Think of me as your online pen pal. I will share my tips on living a healthy life, the values I try to stick by, self affirmations for positive feelings and my go to links for deep relaxation. I will also share some of my favourite recipes and more!